Killian and Emma Season 4 One Shots
by myshipperheart17
Summary: A little space for me to put any Captain Swan season 4 one shots I end up writing :) Romantic, fluffy, potentially angsty, they'll all be here! Rated T for now! Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I just love them... a lot. Spoilers for all of season 4!
1. This Is Just 'See You Later'

**This is a reupload - no idea what happened last night, that's never happened before! I think that's what happens when you upload at 1am after a very long day! Thanks so much to the couple of people who actually read and reviewed this through the crazy HTML, and for those of you who pointed out the crazy formatting! All fixed now :)**

**Just a little one-shot, imagining Killian's thought process in the Sheriff's station in 4x10 - that goodbye scene just broke my heart. Anyway, this is my version of the moment - I've slightly changed the dialogue, simply because I wanted more conversation (I always do!). Another chapter of Understanding Each Other will be going up soon, this is all I've had time for this week though. I don't own the characters or the show, I just adore them!**

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><p>As he walked through the door of the Sheriff's station, the hole in his chest where his heart should be grew heavy, and he knew he shouldn't be doing this. She had enough on her plate without this. He wanted to be calm, to be controlled, to hide any sign of what was really going on and simply wish her luck, steal a quick kiss if the moment presented itself, and say "see you soon". But he didn't trust his emotions to hold that steady. She was absolutely everything to him and he was about to lose her.<p>

It wasn't fair. They weren't done yet, they had barely gotten started. She had just begun to really trust him, to open up to him and let her guard down, and he had just promised her he was a survivor, and she'd never have to worry about losing him. The thought of her realising how much he had let her down, let them down, was almost too much to bear.

He turned the corner and hovered in the doorway, just taking a moment to watch her. Clutching her baby brother in her arms, tears glistening in her eyes as she said goodbye to her parents, her heart so obviously breaking. She was always so strong, too strong sometimes, insisting on handling things on her own, it made seeing her like that all the harder. He loved that she had a vulnerable side, one that she was finally willing to share with him, but right now she just looked broken. He couldn't, and wouldn't, be responsible for shattering her heart completely. Not today, anyway.

"Swan," his voice breaking the momentary silence, and catching her attention.

She motioned to Elsa to take Neal, and said something to her new friend as she passed the wriggling baby into her arms. He was oblivious to everything outside of the thoughts racing through his mind, trying desperately to get control over them, at risk of saying entirely the wrong thing to her. As she approached him he fought the urge to instantly pull her to him, to whisper that he loved her and kiss her harder and with more passion than ever before. She could read him so well that he knew that would be a total giveaway.

This was not the goodbye he wanted, and this was not the goodbye they deserved. But it was all he had.

She paused just short of him, her arms wrapped around herself, scrunching her fingers in the sleeves of her leather jacket.

"You shouldn't be here, it's almost time," she said, attempting to keep her tone authoritative but already sounding defeated.

He couldn't help it. He took a step closer. Still fighting the urge to lift his hand up to cup her cheek, run his fingers through her hair.

"I know," he whispered, "I just…"

What? Couldn't die without one last kiss from you? Wanted to make this day just a little bit more difficult for you?

"... I needed to see you one more time."

It wasn't enough, not nearly enough. His heart, wherever it was in its physical form, was crying out for him to tell her, but this was the opposite of how he had imagined telling Emma he loved her.

Her eyes, already swimming with tears, were fixed on him.

"Don't say that," she finally mumbled.

"What?"

"One last time," she whispered, "This isn't goodbye. I refuse to let this be goodbye. Elsa and I, we'll fix this, Killian."

Her voice shook, but that familiar determination had found its way into her tone. Through the tears she looked confident, desperate, so sure that she would find a way to fix this.

He had no doubt that she would. The only problem was that he wouldn't be here by the time she did.

"I have no doubt in my mind that you will, love," he replied, trying to ignore the way his voice caught in his throat.

Suddenly he was aware that the room had gone completely silent. While he had been lost in her, the others had quietly tuned in to their private moment, something Emma would usually avoid at all costs. This time, however, something was different.

For a moment neither of them spoke, and if he could have frozen time like that, he would have done it in a heartbeat (the irony of which, was not lost on him). Her eyes were still locked with his, and he was overwhelmed by how badly he wanted to tell her everything and have her tell him they would figure it all out together. He just knew it wasn't an option.

"You know I'm not a tearful goodbye kiss person," she said, suddenly.

He began to nod when suddenly the gap that remained between them was closed and her mouth was on his, her arms wrapped around his neck and her body pressed tight to his. He wasted no time in pulling her closer, his arm around her back and his good hand tangled in her hair. She seemed to melt into him, holding on for dear life, as he eventually trailed a line of soft kisses across her cheek and onto her neck, burying his face in her long tresses of blonde hair and trying desperately to memorise every part of her, like a photograph in his mind.

But a mental picture couldn't match the feeling of her warm body in his arms, the sound of her voice, calling him Killian in the serious moments, or Hook when she was feeling flirty (or angry). The smell of her shampoo invading his space when she rested her head on his shoulder. The way his heart (when it was present) seemed to skip a beat every single time her lips met his.

Maybe, then, death would be a welcome escape from a life without her in it.

She eventually pulled back, her fingers skimming over his jawline and on to his neck.

He swallowed, attempting to swallow down all of the words that were fighting to come out, and tried a joke.

"I thought you said no tearful goodbye kiss?"

She almost smiled. He didn't manage to, and his attempted joke just sounded sad and empty.

"Just this once," she whispered, bringing her lips back to his.

This was it. This was the last time he would kiss her, and compared to how this was killing him, what Gold had in store would be a walk in the park. He touched his hand to her chin, tilting her head slightly to kiss her more deeply, and eventually pulled away, resting his forehead against hers and gently wiping away her tears, the way he did on their trip into the past, when he suspected her feelings for him had really begun to change.

He took a deep breath, pressed a kiss to her forehead and finally took a step back.

"Goodbye."

Before she had a chance to respond he turned around and he walked out, his feet moving as quickly as possible without breaking into a run, and raising suspicion.

It had been all wrong. His voice too harsh, the conversation too simplistic.

As he approached the door, his self-recrimination was interrupted by the sound of footsteps running behind him.

He spun around only to have her collide into him, knocking him backwards into the wall of the corridor.

"Emma…"

"Shhhh," she began, literally pressing her finger to his lips, "Something's wrong, and if you think I can't tell that, you're an idiot and clearly I know you better than you think. And I know there's no time for you to tell me what it is right now, but I promise you, whatever it is, I will fix it."

He felt his eyes prickle, and struggled to find the words to explain to her that this time, her being the saviour might not be enough. Instead, after an eternally long pause, the words he had been trying to avoid all day finally broke free.

"I love you."

She stared at him, her hands running down his arms like they did after their first date, one clasping his hand and the other gripping his wrist, his hook pressing into her hip.

"I know," she whispered, "I love you too."

It was almost all too much. He felt dizzy and overwhelmed, and completely and utterly consumed by his love for her, yet he couldn't seem to say a word.

"I'll fix it," she said, leaning in and pressing a firm, sure kiss to his lips.

And then she was gone. Off to save the world.

And whether or not she succeeded in saving him, he knew that she loved him. Whatever happened, he would always have that.

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><p><strong>*cries* I just love those two so much. Reviews are very very welcome :)<strong>


	2. Boyfriend

**A little one-shot following Shattered Sight (only referring to the Snow Queen stuff, no Rumple/Hook heart stuff in this one!)...**

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><p>Emma sighed, rubbing her hand across the back of her neck, kneading her fingers into the aching muscles at the top of her shoulders - it had been one hell of a day.<p>

Her parents, baby Neal, Regina and Henry were at a table, laughing raucously about something or another Snow had said to David when the curse had taken over. Granny's was buzzing, filled with people chatting, laughing, bickering and debating after the effects of the spell of shattered sight had begun to wear off. The noise of plates and cups hitting against the table, cutlery hitting against plates, phones ringing, and eventually, her baby brother crying, made it impossible for her to think straight.

She was relieved, of course she was. It was wonderful that the curse was broken, but suddenly she felt an emptiness in her chest, the memories Ingrid had given back to her swirling around in the space, filling her with a completely unexpected feeling of loss.

She was so lost in her thoughts that when warm fingers clasped around her own, removing her hand from her neck and taking their place, it snapped her out of her reverie. In spite of her sombre mood, she felt a smile tug at her lips as his hook came to rest against her hip, his fingers working at the knots in her shoulders. Her eyes closed involuntarily, as she took a moment to just enjoy having him near to her.

He leaned forward, whispering in her ear.

"Everything okay?"

It was amazing that he just knew. He always seemed to just know. She spotted her mother watching them, a slight smile on her face as she rocked baby Neal in her arms, trying to settle him, despite the noise which continued to surround them. Emma swiveled around to face him, her breath catching slightly in her throat the way it always did when he looked at her that oh-so-intense way. Her hand moved of it's own accord, gently tracing the line of his jaw.

"Yeah, of course. I'm fine."

He raised that trademark eyebrow and stared at her harder. She knew he wouldn't buy it.

"Okay, maybe not fine. But I will be."

Concern washed over his face and her hand had suddenly found itself in his, fingers interlocked, and it felt good. Comforting. Safe. The way it always felt when they had a moment to themselves - except they weren't alone. They were in a bustling diner, filled with love and laughter, but mostly filled with noise and listening ears.

"You sure?" he asked.

His voice was so low in his attempt to whisper, to keep their conversation just a little bit private, that it had that incredible gravel to it that made her feel slightly weak at the knees. For someone as independent as Emma, that was something that never failed to amaze her. She leaned in to his side, running her hand up his neck to tangle her fingers in his dark hair and pull him down for a quick kiss.

"Completely," she whispered, "It's just been a long day, defeating Snow Queens, reliving some not so pleasant memories of how things used to be with me and Regina… Crazy, crazy day. Using my magic, saying goodbye to my old foster mother who wiped my memories of her and froze Storybrooke solid. I just feel a bit drained..."

She paused, enjoying the soothing feeling of his thumb rubbing circles beneath her ear.

"But I reckon a drink, and a moment alone with my pirate boyfriend should fix that." she whispered, smirking at how ridiculous her last two sentences would sound to anyone outside Storybrooke.

His eyes lit up, his hand pausing, warm against her cheek, and she felt a grin work its way onto her face, reflecting his own dazzling smile.

"Not so fast, Captain. I said a moment alone, I didn't say what we'd be doing with it!"

He laughed, pulling her into his arms and pressing a kiss against her temple.

"I was more interested in the word you used."

She pulled back and met his gaze, tiredness flooding over her as the warmth of his body lulled her into a feeling of total comfort.

"Which one?"

His lips grazed her ear as he leaned in, once again encasing them in a little bubble, his words for her and her alone.

"Boyfriend."

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><p><strong>Cannot wait for next week - let's hope for a spectacular reunion! Reviews, as always, are very welcome! :)<strong>


	3. Explaining it All

**Spoilers for 4x12: The conversation that never was, but needed to be had (and hopefully we'll see an actual version of it in episode 13!)**

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><p>He winced as she slammed his heart back into his chest, a sharp pain coursing through his entire body as everything slotted back into place.<p>

She started to apologise, to explain her decision to return it to him with quite such brutal force, but her words faded into insignificance in comparison with the rush of emotions overwhelming him. Of course he knew that while his heart and body weren't connected things had been dulled, but the intensity of what he was feeling stunned him. It was as if everything he had ever felt for her or thought about her was magnified, multiplied and bursting with colour and vibrancy and a clarity he had never experienced before. Before she could finish her sentence he cut her off with his mouth, claiming her lips with his and relishing the feel of her arms snaking around his waist as he pushed her flush against the wall outside his room at Granny's.

Finally, it felt like them again. The racing of his pulse when she traced her tongue along his bottom lip, and the unstoppable smile that broke out across his face when eventually they pulled apart, momentarily dizzy and blocking out the rest of the world. The past few times he had seen her, all he had wanted was this - he was, after all, about to die, if Rumple got his way. Yet all he had felt was an aching numbness and sadness, an inability to show or tell her that she meant more to him than anything else in the world.

She leaned her head back against the wall and smiled at him, an obvious wash of relief flooding across her face - clearly their recent encounters had felt as unsatisfactory to her as they had to him.

"I told you, Swan," he whispered, refusing to let go, his hand tangling with hers, "I'm a survivor."

She smiled at him and before he could find the words to say any more she leaned in and kissed him again.

He knew they needed to talk about this though, and sooner rather than later. While his heart was telling him to abandon all thought of serious conversation and just pick her up and carry her through the door into his room then and there, his head knew better. Right now, relief that he was alive was stopping her from thinking clearly. But this was Emma. The woman who could spot a liar a mile off, and who had suffered enough trauma in her life through losing people to accumulate a whole lot of completely understandable trust issues. When the relief wore off, he would have a lot of questions to answer, and rather than delay the inevitable, he needed to explain it all to her now.

As he pulled back for a moment she sighed, staying pinned against the wall and running her hands up and down his arms.

"Emma… I…"

"Lied to me? Hid things from me? Almost died after promising he you were a survivor?" she interrupted, her eyebrow quirking slightly as she eyed him, shuffling nervously in front of her, "I was getting to that."

Tension now hung in the air and he contemplated his next move. Part of him wanted to abandon the whole thing, wrap her up his arms again and continue with what they had been up to just seconds ago. But he knew better than to mess with this unstoppably fiery woman when it came to telling the truth.

"I'm so sorry, love," was all he could bring himself to say.

When it came to Emma he very rarely said things he didn't mean. But he had never been more sincere about anything in his life than he was about that. He hated that he had lied to her, whether or not it was within his control in the end. She paused, before her next words exploded out of her, like word vomit.

"What the hell happened?"

He knew he had no option but to start at the beginning.

"The day that we went on our date, I paid Gold a visit. I knew the dagger he had given Belle wasn't real, and I momentarily… well, I seemed to lose my mind, and I used that information against him."

Emma stared at him, open mouth and incredulous. Her hand, however, had found its way from his arm onto his waist.

"Blackmail? Are you serious? Killian, what the hell is wrong with you? When has blackmailing Rumplestiltskin ever worked out for you? Or for anyone, for that matter?!"

He winced, the reality of her words coursing through him much like the pain of having his heart slammed back into his chest.

"I know, Swan, I was a fool. All I wanted was to have my hand back, so that…"

There wasn't much space between them, but she took a tiny step forward nonetheless.

"So that what?"

He took a deep breath. This could go one of two ways.

"So that you didn't have to go on a date with someone with a hook for a hand, Emma. So that when I kissed you outside your house I could hold you with both hands."

She hadn't taken her eyes off him for a second, and she tilted her head to the side, her expression unreadable.

"You did that for me?"

"Aye, love. And for myself. It was all part of my attempts to be a better man for you. Get rid of the signs of the darkness in my past."

She shook her head.

"You really think I care about any of that? Like I need you to change who you are for me to want to be with you?"

"I just wanted to be better, Emma. To do better...:"

"You already are, and you have! You saved me in New York, helped me figure things out when I got us dragged into the past, you took care of me after Elsa accidentally almost froze me to death… you gave up your ship for me, Killian! You've proved yourself so many times, and it's not like my past is exactly spotless. You really think I need you to get rid of the hook for me to want you?!"

He opened his mouth but before the words came out she kissed him again. Quick but fiery and passionate, her hands cupping his face as she pulled back.

"If I wasn't so happy that you're alive right now, I would probably have slapped you instead of doing that, you know."

"And I wouldn't have blamed you in the slightest."

She smiled, but her face was still uncertain, and full of questions. Her display of affection had been reassuring, but he hadn't yet confided in her the things Gold had made him do, so he couldn't allow himself to believe things were really going to be okay. Not until, she knew everything.

"As I said, I made the mistake of blackmailing Gold and, as I should have known, it backfired. He tricked me into thinking my hand was turning me back to my old self, to the man I was before I fell…"

The words "in love with you" caught in his throat. He needed her to know how completely, devastatingly in love with her he was, but not now. Saying it now would feel like a desperate attempt to guilt her into forgiving his actions.

"... before I fell for you. Before we met, and things changed," he continued, noting the fleeting look of something between hope and panic that flashed across her face as he paused, "Suffice to say I was stuck. He returned the hook but with a long list of tasks I was forced to complete for him. When eventually I refused him, he announced that he was on some bid for complete power, and one of the ingredients for that little spell was the heart of someone who knew him in the past, back before he became who he is today. That heart being mine, as I'm sure you've worked out."

Emma listened intently, having allowed him to get through this part of the story uninterrupted. Her eyes were wide, but her mouth formed a thin line, and her hand, which still rested on his neck had begin to tremble. He could see how angry she was - he just wasn't quite sure if it was going to be directed at him yet.

"And you didn't think to tell me any of this? You asked me to trust you, and then you go and get yourself in a situation like this and what? You don't think that might be something I could help with?"

Panic rushed through him as he watched her, wild eyed and furious. Her warm hand had left his neck and she crossed her arms together, but remained directly in front of him.

"All I wanted was to tell you," he whispered, "The thought of disappointing you broke my heart, but I would have done it because I can't lie to you, not now, it isn't who I am. But he had my heart, and with it, control over me. He was controlling my words, and, regrettably, my actions…"

As he trailed off she looked suspicious, and he knew they were reaching the pivotal part of this story.

"Swan. You know the Dark One. When he had my heart, he had me do some terrible things, that I would do anything to take back."

He felt his eyes sting with the beginning of tears, bitter, angry, tears that he had only just managed to keep at bay through this entire disaster, with the exception of the moment he has said goodbye to her before the spell of shattered sight hit them. He sighed and closed his eyes, wishing he could transport them to some desert island somewhere, just the two of them, and have all of this fade into nothingness.

But suddenly her hands were skimming up his chest and onto his neck once again, her fingers landing on his jaw as he opened his eyes. Her eyes were shining with tears too, and she held his gaze intently.

"Listen to me," she said, her voice firm, "I am seriously pissed at you right now for being stupid enough to try to blackmail Gold. But I know why you did it. And you are not a bad person. Those things, whatever they were…"

"I…" he interrupted, preparing to reveal some of the things he had been commanded to do.

"... we can discuss them later. Right now, you need to know that I'm not going anywhere. You've made a mistake, but I trust you, and we can get through this. I'm not happy about this, but I told you, Killian - I can't lose you."

He allowed himself to drink in her words, savouring the sound of them as he realised she meant what she was saying. Her hand was clasped in his, and he brought it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

"And I told you I'm a survivor."

"Yeah, thanks to Belle!" she exclaimed, "If it wasn't for her we wouldn't be standing here having this conversation. And that would have been your fault, as much as Gold's, for making the mistake of making a deal with him. You promised me I'd never have to go through losing you. Do not break that promise."

Her face was flushed and she stared at him, challenging him to respond.

"I won't, Swan. You'll always have me."

Her expression softened, and suddenly they were kissing again, this time his back pressed against the wall, neither entirely sure who started it, but neither making the move to stop it any time soon. Her hands tangled in his jacket, before one reached up to rest on his chest, where not so long ago she had returned his heart.

"You should get some rest," she whispered, breathlessly, "And I have to go and check on Regina."

He pulled back, incredulous, the idea of her going anywhere but straight into his room at this point stunning him.

"Seriously, love?"

She grinned, her smile making his thundering heart skip a beat, and nodded, raking her fingers through his hair before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and stepping away, putting enough distance between them to allow them both to cool down.

"Yes, seriously. Someone just had their heart returned to their chest, and could clearly use some sleep. Regina's downstairs, and she's gone through a lot today, I feel like she might need a friend."

He sighed, shaking his head and making a move for his door.

"As you wish, Swan," he murmured, hating to admit that she was right. He was utterly exhausted.

"Killian?"

She was already halfway down the corridor when she called back to him, causing him to turn around from his now open bedroom door.

She flashed him one last smile with her parting words.

"I'll be back in an hour."

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><p><strong>How will we cope waiting till March?! I can't wait for 4b now. Reviewsfeedback are very welcome :)**


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